Goro: Something Sacred
Marriage. What's the goddamn point, honestly? Goro wasn't really going to start his speech that way—everyone would glare at him—but he wrote it down for his opening line as a joke. Yeah, what a riot. He fucking cracked himself up. What the hell was Raef thinking, asking Goro to be his officiant? Why the hell would anyone think that was a good idea? Goro might just stand up there ragging on them the whole time. He had never performed a wedding ceremony before, though he'd sat through plenty at the abbey over the years. He knew the gist of it. Raef and Griffin wanted to be married in Mask's name, though, and Goro had never seen a Maskarran ceremony. It was a weird thought. It filled him with increasing contempt, until he wrote down on his fake speech draft, You think Mask gives a shit if you're married? Why would he? Goro knew every Maskarran holy text and prayer book front to back, and none of them said a fucking word about marriage. He wondered if it was too late to back out. Raef had joked about asking Larkin or Jasper to do the wedding instead, and hell, why not. Goro may have been the fucking cleric, but he didn't feel qualified. Someone who was marrying you should have an inkling what marriage was about. # "Hey Ombre," Goro said, wandering through the library. "What's the point of getting married, do you think?" "Iuno." Yeah, that sounded about right. Goro kept walking. He went downstairs and spotted Joan outside, through the windows, training. He popped out to say hello to her. "Hey, what do you think's the point of getting married? Why do people do it?" "It’s a symbol of your commitment to be faithful to one person for the rest of your life," she said. Well, that explains why you ain't asked my mother yet. If both of them were in a better mood, he might have said it as a joke, but she was holding a greatsword and all. He walked all the way into town to bother Larkin. "Uhm, don't know," she said. "To make the point really clear, maybe? For all to know?" Well, whoop-de-fucking-do, Raef and Griffin. They all knew. # He waited to ask Mishka until they were curled up in bed, Mishka petting his hair. "Hey, what's the point of getting married, anyway?" Mishka shrugged a little. Then he got a misty look in his eyes. "I don’t know. I didn’t really think about it. I just wanted to marry him, so I did." Goro hadn't fucking said'' what's the point of marrying Hansel'', specifically. Yeah, who wouldn't want to fucking marry Hansel. "Just wondering 'cause I'm trying to write a speech for Griffin and Raef's wedding," he muttered, which he thought might prompt Mishka to say more, but maybe something about Goro's tone said and now this conversation is over, because Mishka didn't. # Hey Ma. What's the point of getting married? Why do people do it? Her reply took a few moments longer than usual. It's a commitment to no longer see your life as belonging to you alone, but as something you share with another. Of all the answers he'd gotten, Goro thought that one came the closest to sounding like it meant something. And maybe for that reason, it made him feel like shit. "Oh," he said to the empty room. "Okay." # When Goro was taking another stab at his draft, he decided to Send to Father Shadow back at the Maskarran temple in Calimport. Ask him for tips on conducting the ceremony. Father's response was so long, he replied and then continued with a Sending of his own. The essence of a union consecrated under Mask is to look upon a loved one and say, "I see you, and you see me." I will send you a selection of prayers to use, if it is timely to do so. Goro said yes, and thanked him, then wrote down his words to think about more carefully. I see you, and you see me. Yeah, it made sense. He got it. For any follower of Mask, that was absolutely one hell of a vow to make. Goro wasn't sure anyone had ever really seen him, and that was the way he'd always wanted it. He curled up sitting on his desk chair, knees against his chest. He reached for the stone he and Hansel had carved their initials into. Ran his thumb over the engraving. Something permanent, Hansel had said. And yet, he'd also wept, and talked about how certain he was that Goro was going to leave him someday. What the fuck was the rock for, then, a consolation prize? A reminder they'd ever loved each other at all? Was fucking bullshit, the idea that Goro would leave Hansel, and Goro wondered if Hansel would still think that if they got married— Oh. Fuckin', hah. Right. Hansel'd been married, and his husband had left him. They were back together now, though. They were giving it another shot. That's how much they'd liked it the first time. I just wanted to marry him, so I did, Mishka had said, and Hansel had said, Just felt right. It was hard to imagine a more frustrating pair of answers. Goro thought it should fucking mean something, when you chose to marry someone. It should make a difference; it should matter. The bar for entry ought to be higher than just fucking feeling like it, otherwise—otherwise that meant no one felt like marrying him, and... well, that was how it had always been, and how he'd always assumed it would be, until he stopped assuming and started wondering. Wondering hurt. Assuming had been safer. Why hadn't Amari and Joan felt like getting married, if that was all it took? What was the fucking secret? What was he missing? # He was coming to realize that he was extraordinarily greedy. Not two months since he'd returned from Calimport--since he and Hansel had come to some sort of agreement about how they felt for each other--and Hansel called him my sun. He'd said, light of my life, making everything grow. He wrote Goro letters every fucking day. He'd carved their initials into wood and stone. And Goro said: Not enough. I need more. Show me the proof. Really made him look like a jackass, when he thought of it that way. He was just scared. Always came back to that. And it would be a simple thing to ask, Hey, do you think you can see yourself maybe marrying me one day? Just to find out if he was completely out of line, dreaming up things that weren't there. But the thought of actually doing it made him feel like vomiting or dying, or both. Because a no, or even a hesitation, would fucking crush him. And he knew you shouldn't ask questions you might not like the answers to. He wanted to know how long it had been, with Hansel and Mishka. How long before they'd become soul and star, and how long before both of them had felt like getting married; if it had trickled in gradually or hit them like a wave; if it had struck one of them before the other, or if somehow they'd just looked at each other one day, the same day, and known. # The next time Goro was in Skyport, he took a seat at the bar of the Crooked Coin. "Tazu, you're not married, are you?" he asked the bartender when he ordered his glass of water. No rings on Tazu's fingers, but that didn't always mean no. "No, I'm not." Tazu squeezed a lemon wedge into the glass before sliding it over to Goro. "Why, you got somebody in mind for me?" "I'm trying to figure out why people get married at all." "'Cause they feel like it?" Goro let out a long groan and plonked his head against the bar. "Not good enough." He lifted his head, shaking it, and took a drink of his water. "Hey, pal, listen." Tazu came over and rested his elbows across from Goro. "You want the real, unadulterated truth? There's only three good reasons to get married." He held up three fingers. "Money—political gain—and—" He frowned and stared into the distance. "Shit, what was the other one." "Love?" "Pfff. God, are you fucking kidding me? Love. Come on, who does that? Well, my parents did. You know, my father, he was with a troupe of traveling Elven musicians, and there was my mother, a human farmer, and how well do you think that worked out for them? Honestly, pretty well. They're both still alive. Two beautiful children. Oh, that was the third reason. Childrearing. Money, political gain, or childrearing. Where I'm from, in Koryo, it's usually that last one, among the common folk at least." "Fuckin' inspiring," Goro said. "You know, the way you people in Skyport do it—marrying whoever you want, whenever you want—that's not natural. I've traveled the whole world over, and I've never seen a thing like it. Why do people get married here?" "'Cause they feel like it." "Hah!" Tazu straightened up for a moment, then leaned back in, beckoning Goro closer with a finger. "You know what I'' feel like?" He spoke in a low voice and pointed surreptitiously toward the back corner of the bar. Goro glanced over his shoulder. The place was mostly empty, so it wasn't hard to see who Tazu was pointing to—the pale, black-haired young man, sitting alone and sullen with a book and a barely-touched glass of cider. Tazu wolf whistled under his breath, too quiet for anyone but Goro to actually hear. "Wizard. Necromancer, they say. Bit of a loner. What a freak. I love him." "Do you even know his name?" "Sure do. His sister works here. I give us—hmm, maybe a year? Just watch me." Tazu straightened again and tapped his hand on the bar. "''That's the nice thing about Skyport marriage. Men can marry other men. And women can marry other women. In Koryo, you'd never hear of such a thing. What's even the point of getting married if you can't make any babies, they'd say? Although, you know, I could've sworn I actually saw a pregnant man the other day. Wild. Skyport! I love it." "Why the obsession with babies, anyway?" Goro asked. "Don't you have adoption?" "Eh, sure, but you know, usually it's for the money or political gain thing, like I was saying. Hard to explain. It's a different world there. Different ways of doing things. Hey, why're you asking about marriage, anyway? You got your eye on someone?" Like Goro was gonna fucking answer that. "I'm officiating a wedding for my friends. Trying to figure out what to say." "Oh my god. Oh my god, you're in love with one of them, aren't you? I can see it in your eyes. Oh, fuck, that's rough, pal, I'm sorry." "No. No." Goro held a hand up to shield his eyes, briefly. "I am not. Jeez." "Don't try and hide it from me. You're jealous about something, alright. Think I can't tell?" Tazu snapped his fingers in front of Goro's face a few times. "I've made my whole living on being able to spot jealousy. Which one is it, bride? Groom?" "Two grooms, genius, and it's not either of them. The people I'm seeing are already married." "To each other?" He said it like it was a joke, and when Goro nodded, Tazu's jaw dropped and he smacked his leg, laughing. "No shit! You got involved with both halves of a married couple? That's fucking… hey. Hey. Since you can apparently do whatever the fuck you want in Skyport, do you think you can marry two people? Is that a thing?" Goro shrugged. "Might be." "Well then!" Tazu held his arms out to the side. "Or, no, wait. They don't love you back? Or only one of them does? Or… shit, I don't know, you tell me." "I'm their boyfriend, I guess." "Well then!" Tazu said again. "What do you have to be jealous for? Marry 'em both. What's the problem?" "A little presumptuous, isn't it? They haven't asked me." Tazu clapped his hands together. "You ask them. Come on. You think waiting around for a proposal's the only way to do it? You think I'm gonna wait on—" he lowered his voice to a stage whisper and held his hand up to cover one side of his face— "Niko?" And he nodded in the direction of the wizard in the corner. "No, listen. I'm not that kinda guy. I see something I want, I go get it. Yeah? That not your style? How long have you been seeing—what are their names, anyway?" "Hansel and Mishka." Tazu stared at Goro for a while, not speaking. He drummed his fingers on the bartop. "Are you fucking kidding me? Those guys?" "The fuck's that supposed to mean?" Goro asked. "What a pair of walking disasters, is all I'm saying. Don't get me wrong—I love 'em. Hansel—it's Hansel Granger, right? Isn't he the one who got the Sausage blown up? Bless him. I made so much money after that happened. Floods, just, floods of customers. Hey, really, I owe him. I'll send you guys a nice fat wedding gift, just remember to send me an invitation when you set the date." Goro snorted and downed the rest of his water. Strangely, this was starting to make him feel better. "It's too soon. Only been a couple months." "It's not too soon. It's never too soon. Sometimes—hey, look at me." Tazu leaned in close on his elbows again and looked Goro in the eye, dead serious for once. "Sometimes, you meet someone, and you fucking know." "Know what? Weren't you the one just telling me to only get married for money or political gain?" Tazu grinned slowly, bearing all his ghastly crooked teeth. "Sure. My personal philosophy, maybe. But I also know how to read what a man wants—and you want to marry those sons of bitches. So do it." "Thanks for the pep talk." Goro pulled a silver piece out of his pocket for a tip and slid it across the counter. "You're gonna go home and propose to them, right? Damn, why should I even get you a wedding gift? You should be thanking me at the wedding, making a toast to me for giving you that push you needed." "Yup. Will do, Tazu." Goro shook his head, laughed, and waved to him on his way out. It was getting colder. He tugged his scarf up to cover more of his neck and stuffed his hands into his pockets as he walked. Nothing much left to do except head back to the castle. God, that would be a fucking sight if he just up and announced his intentions to marry Hansel and Mishka as soon as he saw them again. Whip out a couple of rings. Yeah, he wouldn't fucking dream of it, really. Someone like fuckin' Tazu, he probably couldn't even conceive of the idea that someone might say no to him. Must be nice to have that kind of confidence. To not feel like a slippery little lizard people wanted to drop as soon as they touched. He wondered what kind of rings he'd get, though. The ring Mishka had given Hansel was engraved. I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine. Goro had spun it around, carefully, to read while Hansel was asleep. Achingly beautiful in its simplicity, in any language, and in Orcish it had an especially sweet rhythm to it. Goro didn't think he'd get a matching one, though. Didn't really work for three people. Didn't say I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine, and there's also this other guy we picked up. Nah, if Goro had to pick a phrase, he'd go with something different. Something equally concise, but less simplistic, maybe. That would suit him better. He bet he could find something good in a prayer, or a holy scripture. Something sacred. He scoffed and shook his head as he walked, pulling the scarf up so it covered his mouth. Nah. Nah. Nothing but daydreams. Category:Vignettes Category:Goro Category:Lina